This is Me: January 2005

Monday, January 10, 2005

OIL 2005 and blessings beyond!

Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus!

i miss my first OIL SG kids!

(boys to girls; left to right, top down)
Gill, James, Jon, Arthur, Nicholas, Tiffany, Sara, Hannah, Connie, Liz and Unice

HP + CP + CC = MI

During the caravan ride back from OIL I realized that...
I am living a life that would please men.
Rather than living a life that pleases God, I steal away by focusing on the fruit.
The outside might look the same, but it's the inside that must change.

Currant Prayer Request:
Pray that God would continue to sanctify me.
Pray that I check my heart; when I realize that my heart is off, I go to God and repent so He can change me.

update (1/15)
God is really doing stuff to my heart.
externally my YMCA kids ask why i'm smiling all the time. i made it to every morning prayer this week. i've been enjoying reading through the Bible. i've been praying and chatting with God a LOT. i've written like a bunch of object lessons/sermons that i'd like to share sometime. i'm home in Chicago now and i enjoy it. i love talking to people about God. God is good.

update (1/25)
i've been back on campus.
still trying to go to MP every morning, reading through the Bible and staying close to God.
CFC small groups start this week. i'm so excited to see everyone and what God has been doing in their lives!

after responding to an email from YooC i wanted to share some of it.
here goes:

(she works at a school in Clinton) two guys i lived with this summer were from Clinton. i think one of them still has family out there, but probably no one you'd run into. i couldnt even ask them cuz they took off without leaving their contact info. one of the guys, Esten (spelling?) seemed very close minded about Christianity when i moved in, even though he said he was open to everything, but i feel like after he got to know me better, he saw something in me that was different (i only say that now cuz he kept saying that all the time, praise God huh? He can use someone like me). we had some good talks this summer, i hope God grows those seeds. i totally forgot about him until i heard you talking about being out there.

as far as work, i'm still working at the YMCA. i've been trying to leave to get into substitute teaching since Oct. 2004 but YMCA hasnt been able to find anyone to replace me. why dont i just leave? if i leave, basically the program ends because it requires someone to drive a bus to pick up students from the Champaign junior high schools. because i no longer have confidence that they will find anyone that wants my job, i decided to look around for a second part-time job in the mornings. i would like to work with kids, so i have put off picking up a random job like bestbuy or walmart. if you hear of any openings in the champaign school district contact me ASAP, that is where my heart is right now.

God has been really working on my heart. He really revealed a lot to me since OIL. here's the gist of it:
1. before i get carried away in doing what i'm supposed to by my own strength/work, i have to repent and have my heart right with God. it may look the same on the outside, but it's the heart that's different.
2. trusting in God's timing. when i was praying about my future, God showed me that i was being selfish and manipulative. once again it was a heart issue. i need to pray and live with Kingdom perspective.

when i check my schedule this semester, already it seems really packed. but i feel confident in what God has planned. something i picked up that Pastor Paul Liu said at OIL, "either you're scheduling your priorities or prioritizing your schedule." because what God is teaching and revealing to me, God is my priorty and He is my strength.

as far as being wise and taking on the right amount of things, i feel like i am good this semester. i could take on more, but i committed this year to spending more time with God and away from distractions. any less and i might leave room for those distractions to come in; it's hard for my heart to let go of myself completely and cling to Jesus. God help me!

more to come...?

By His grace and mercy,
Gill